free environment. Why  did we have to go to so many places?) Anyhow, I’m not holding out  hope that youre going to change your mind about us. You probably  have a new girlfriend by now, or several new girlfriends, and I  missed my window, and Ill just have to live with that. Im sure you  feel like you cant trust me with your heart. But please know that I  never meant to hurt you, and I would never do it again, because I  know now (too little too late, or better late than never?) that what  we had was real and rare and special, and the way it felt to kiss  you is the the way I always want to feel. I hope you write me back,  but if you dont I understand. Just know that Im thinking about you  and that I miss you, and that Im still sleeping on your shoulder  when I close my eyes at night. Carrie."