 A Midwesterner (Christopher May), now living in Los Angeles, recounts his romantic misadventures in flashback over the seven years he has lived there. Struggles include an asthma attack, a bout with a woman who later admits to having herpes, the perennial sexual dynamo, and ultimately masturbation. Throughout, our narrator reflects on his mis-guided attempts to understand the female animal. Also undercut throughout are females contemplating the opposite sex from their own views.