 Meet Walter (Chris "Turnip" Simmons) a lonely pathetic little wretch whose only two ambitions in life are to be good at something, ANYTHING, and to find the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, success can seem a distant dream when his slovenly roommate Dave (Steven "Flyboy" Tracy) walks all over him and never pays his share of his rent or when Walter s low self-esteem keeps him from seeing the love right under his nose, Ann (Lindsy Husak). However, in a world where Charles Manson (Jeff "Cheesepeck" Alexander) is running for President of the United States and the ghost of Jack the Ripper (Jill "Bacon Eyes" Emmert) still walks the earth, anything is possible. Will simple determination and training from one of history s greatest serial killers be enough to turn this loser around? Will Walter be able to find it within himself to make all his dreams come true? Will he be able to be the man...the BAG MAN?