 René Artois is the owner and manager of a café in German-occupied France of World War II. To look at him, it s hard to believe that some women find him irresistible, something he has to work hard to hide from his wife Edith. René s cafe, frequented by both the German military and the French resistance, is the focal point for the show. René s a bit of a coward and is stuck in the middle, trying to humor both sides. Hidden in the cafe are two English airmen who don t understand a word of French. Other characters include Lt. Gruber, a homosexual German tank driver; Otto Flick, the evil SS officer who is always outsmarted; and Engelbert von Smallhausen, his small sidekick. René s not the only coward in town: Capt. Hans Geering and Col. Kurt von Strohm are constantly on the defensive along with Capt. Alberto Bertorelli of the Italian army, who has a medal for servicing Fiats. Much of the farce comes from Officer Crabtree, an English agent disguised as a French policeman with a poor grasp of "Zee Fronch Linguige", and from René s amorous waitresses, Mimi, Yvette, and Maria.