 After getting one of his jokes published in a postal newsletter, Cliff thinks he s the jokemeister of Boston. However, only Lilith appreciates his brand of humor. He wants Rebecca to have a comedy night at Cheers starring himself, but Rebecca suggests he go to a comedy club open mic night instead. He thinks it s a great idea. However the comedy club and the patrons of ultimately don t think so - he bombs. Back at the bar, Sam breaks a tooth on a shell that was in some crab salad from Melville s. Despite the fact that the salad was given free to Woody, Sam vows to sue to get even with his nemesis, John Allen Hill. Beyond that, Sam pickets outside of Melville s, telling his story, or a more fanciful version, to anyone who will listen. Hill admits that Sam s act, however futile, is causing his business harm and thus decides to settle with Sam: $500 and dental costs. Sam agrees. Just then, Hill chomps down on a rock he says he found in a bowl of peanuts at Cheers. Hill knows he s lying and Sam knows he s lying. But when Hill snaps a photograph with Sam holding the rock and the peanut bowl, Sam knows Hill has once again beaten him. Elsewhere in the bar, Carla is proud to announce that second oldest son, Gino, has decided to become a priest. Carla is the proudest she s ever been, not so much for Gino s sake, but for herself. She believes that the parents of priests and nuns have what she calls a "free ticket out of hell" card. In other words, she will go to heaven no matter how evil her life is. She takes this opportunity to be mean to everyone in sight and relishes the act. Later that afternoon, Gino announces that he has changed his mind and wants instead to become a male model. Carla now fears for her eternal soul since she mocked God so blatantly. Only one act can atone for her evil acts of the day: to listen to Cliff refine his comedy routine.